Things me (and a few friends) are doing (and thinking) to get over a recent breakup

Wait a minute, I need to hydrate before this one.

I am currently in that funky gray area shortly after a heartbreak.

Confusing and conflicting feelings of regret, guilt, anger, fear and even relief filled my body when years of my partnership finally reached its due date. I knew it was the right move though, especially when it felt like a war had come to an end, and I felt hopeful for the peace that will (fingers crossed) eventually take over.

Verdict so far: It’s hard as hell.

While I navigate through finding my own two feet again, some days are profound and joyous while some really suck. So I thought, why not jot down my thoughts about what has helped ?

We all have different ways of understanding the vulnerable and heartbreaking times in our lives. But maybe we can totally unite in how we try dealing with it?

And since I’m already being honest, I’d like you to know I am currently trying to check off as many things from this list, too. I’m writing this especially for those like me, people that aren’t exactly in the before or after, but the during.

Here goes…

My relationship taught me so many things about myself. I want to be able to carry these parts of me to the next stage of my life, but in a way that doesn’t leave me clinging onto the past. Recently I had an epiphany–the good part about memories is that I can create new ones, and this got me excited!

Self care isn’t all about bubble baths and face masks (at least not for me), but about prioritising myself in the present moment to benefit my future self.

Regardless of your outlet of choice, I think we can all agree that it’s the hardest thing to do when you need it the most. But I’ve managed a little something– Understanding where my boundaries lie has placed me on a mentally stronger path, that’s been my self care.

Another space I’ve been turning to for help is forms of mindfulness. Lamya Arsiwala, my meditation teacher, recently told me, “Healing from a broken heart is easily misunderstood as something we have to do because there is something we lack, when it can be a journey of falling in love with yourself. Healing is multilayered and can have a different purpose altogether.” That has really stuck with me. I remind myself of this on the really bad days.

Break ups mean big changes, including forcing ourselves to take on a life that is going to seem unfamiliar in the beginning. The ups and downs of this new journey teach us to look out for the things that make us happy and to keep doing them. Like a friend of mine often tells me, “You fall down seven times and you stand up eight.”

I also turned to other people who have dealt with a break up (on our behalf) and are on the other side. Here’s a list of more things to help you during this vulnerable time–

“What really helped me when I was down was listening to music, eventually I found myself discovering so many new artists! ”

“I planned a bunch of little getaways with my family and friends, especially to places where I could connect with nature.”

“I expressed what I was feeling through art and this got me so much closer to it.”

“I surrounded myself with the people I loved, friends who understood me and my family made me feel safe. Connecting with them during the vulnerability of it all was really special.”

“I looked towards really becoming more financially stable and ended up focusing on my career, the whole process was really empowering.”

“I understood more about my patterns and habits after we broke up,I spent enough time with myself to understand what needed to change in order for me not to repeat them once I started to date again.”

“I developed a relationship with food, my mom and I both learned new recipes and would spend time cooking together.”

“I focused on working out to keep myself on a healthy path which gave me a much better understanding of my strength and my body.”

“I learned how to be patient with myself, and that pain and heartache can evolve into something positive.”

See! I don’t know how long it will take but I think we’ll be ok y’all. Hang in there.

Categories:Lifestyle