The art of touching
While we navigate through the first couple of years of marriage, my husband and I have been making an active effort to communicate more.
I’ve learned that you can’t expect someone to read your mind just because they love you, and it takes effort from both partners, especially in areas of communication, to make a relationship work.
With that very idea in mind, I realised that a simple gentle touch, even during the worst arguments, can immediately have a calming effect on me. It’s helped us resolve many bumps on the road.
Just with the art of touching.
Infact, touch is so powerful to someone like me that it is the way my partner touches me that does the majority of the work in the bedroom, too.
Turns out, research shows that touch is infact an important part of communicating and maintaining relationships. Touch is also associated with decreased heart rate, blood pressure and cortisol.
So what happens when we touch?
A simple sensation begins as signals. These signals start a chain reaction travelling through the sensory nerves all the way to the brain. Finally, the signals are translated into a touch perception.
That’s pretty poetic.
No wonder the simple act, a brush or caress, can jolt you like electricity. In a way it is exactly that.
And it feels good doesn’t it? This also makes sense, considering the release of oxytocin (love hormone) upon a consensual, positively perceived, gentle touch.
Touch is also responsible for our reactions to the many erogenous zones that are totally worth exploring.
One study suggests, “..that both male and female older adults who engage in more frequent sexual touching when they have sex are less likely to experience difficulties with orgasm, sexual pleasure, and sexual arousal (as measured by erections in men and subjective sexual arousal in women).” Infact, people who make touching part of the sexual routine are also, “…more likely to report high levels of physical pleasure in their relationships.”
So what are our tips, especially when it comes to touching your partner?
(First and foremost, before you touch someone, especially in an intimate way, make sure that you have consent.)
- You can try communicating with each other. Some of you might find it super sexy to show one another where you’d like to be touched.
- Cuddling can be less intimidating but build an intimate connection.
- Massages are also an easy and sensual way to inch into intimate touching. In my experience, massages also always make for good foreplay.
- Mixing it up by bringing in blindfolds and different sensations with things like feathers and ice cubes can ironically, really bring in the heat.
- And my favorite one– in the shower. Something about water being added to the mix makes touch play especially hot.
So explore, communicate and touch more. Think of yourself as an artist and at the surface of your skin and through your fingertips lies the magic– a touch can truly be a masterpiece.